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This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity and readability. Filler words and repetitions have been removed while preserving the conversation and the speakers' voices.

Steph Gancayco: Hi everyone. Welcome. so today we have a very special guest on the podcast. their name is Kimmortal. hi. So yeah, hey, what's that? so Kimmortal is, I'm sure, very familiar to the Hella Pinay audience. but they're a queer Vancouver-based Philippine ex musician and super multidisciplinary artist, raised in Surrey. To parents from Pangasinan and Negros Occidental. they weave their queerness in politics into rituals of joy and imagination. They have a background in hip-hop and spoken word within activist communities, painting, extensive theater acting, and also a degree in fine arts and art history. so they've toured through Canada, the US, UK, Spain, Germany, and they have released three full-length albums: Sincerity.

In 2014, X Marks the Swirl in 2019, and Shoebox in 2023, along with the recent EP Sunniest of Days that came out in 2025. they collaborated with artists such as Bobby Sanchez, Shad Kay, Supernova. They've opened for artists like Ruby Ibarra and Thundercat, and have also shared billings with artists like Chance the Rapper and Saul Williams. So Hella Pinay has featured Kimmortal a bunch of times over the years through many different stages of their artistry.from premiering their videos for Jungle, I'm Blue and Blue and Orange, to featuring them in our second print issue. And we're super excited to have them on the podcast and catch up. So yeah, thank you so much for being here.

Kimmortal: Thank you for inviting me to the coolest podcast in the world.

Steph Gancayco: We had hell of technical issues in the beginning, but we're getting we got it together. We're getting it together. So thank you for for your patience.

Okay, so we usually everyone who comes on our show: what are your Big Three? Right out the gate.

Kimmortal: That's my favorite question. My Big Three is I'm a Sag Sun, I'm a Leo Moon, and a Cap Rising.

Steph Gancayco: That's a nice combo. Word.

Kimmortal: Actually, like last year for my birthday, I asked my mom of anything she could gift me is to tell me my birth time. Cause she kind of told all three of us that we were born at noon. So yeah, I thought I was Aquarius Rising for the longest time.

Steph Gancayco: Wow, okay.

Kimmortal: Yeah, and yeah, I'm Cap Rising, which makes me really proud. Like I'm so proud that I have an affirmation that like my groundedness, like the ground, the calm in the storm comes from an Earth sign. So I'm like, yes. Cause I thought I was just like all like ~~~ which I am, but...yeah.

You guys are the same three, right? I listened to your past podcast. So like Scorpio Suns and then Aries? Okay, Leo Rising. Nice.

Steph Gancayco: Yes. Leo Rising and Aries Moon, but Guerrilla has has a similar kind of story with their birth time as well, if you wanna get get into it for a second.

G: Yeah, I wanted to ask you about how so your mom told you the birth correct birth time, right? I'm assuming. Cause my mom told me one basically like midnight, but then my birth certificate is like two hours later. So I'm either Virgo Rising or Leo Rising. But I also have like a lot of Virgo in my chart already. So it's like you're supposed to pick one, but it's actually hard to for me. And I just check both of them and they both mostly apply equally.

Kimmortal: It's the same thing with you because the Cap Rising and the Aquarius, like they're beside each other. So there's influences of that energy coming into that. But I'm still happy in my Cap rising. And I'll still check my Cap Rising. I don't read Aquarius Rising. I'm like, you're dead to me. But yeah, I don't know. I was just like for me, I was like, it all makes sense, cause also Sagittariuses in my life, they're so amazing and just like out there. And I was like, where does my introversion come from? Like, why am I the way I am? And for me, like Cap Rising really answered that.

Steph Gancayco: Word. Word.

Yeah, I guess just like moving on to music sturf.

So, okay, you've been making music since like the early 2010s, right? And your work has consistently moved between rap, singing, spoken word, visual art, theater, experimental production. I remember back when we featured you on Jungle in 2017, you were making the beats in like your mom's kitchen and sampling kulintang and you know, a much more DIY approach. But you were already talking about music as activism and community building and making space for BIPOC to be unapologetically visible. And I think that thread has basically continued since then, of course, but I feel like your scale and your confidence and like your artistic vocabulary has just changed, has grown, you know, enormously.

For like Swolitarian, for example, which came out in June, which is one of their latest singles. it's basically like a queer workout anthem about getting strong enough to defend yourself against fascism, right? So like when you look at the artists you were when we first featured you almost a decade ago versus who you are now, like what do you feel like is the biggest difference?

Kimmortal: Mm, yeah. well back then that was like 2018. So I think I was very hungry to like get myself out there. It was a lot of conversations in the community about like representation and it was very much like unapologetic, that kind of energy. And then also that was a time of the Me Too movement. There was the Water is Life movement in Canada. There was the anti-pipeline movement. So there was a lot of conversations about water. So a lot of diasporic art was about like the ocean, you know, like queerness and water and fluidity, gender fluidity, all that stuff. I also wasn't out as nonbinary. At that time in my life I was very like...I thought everyone around me had mental illness. I didn't think I had mental illness. That was like erratic times in my life. Like a lot of output. I think a a big thing personally and spiritually, I really was wanting to get it right. Like in terms of my activism. Like I was like I have to have it all in my music. All my lyrics have to reflect that, you know, like I had a lot of shame.

Also, I feel like from then that was like ten years ago, to now, I feel like I have more discernment. I don't feel like I have to prove myself and I'm okay with not knowing. And I'm trying to have more fun. And I'm not trying to get out there too much. Like I'm not trying to put myself in front of the camera as much. Which is kind of hard because social media has also changed a lot since then. 

Steph Gancayco: Yes, absolutely. my God. Mm-hmm.

G: So much.

Kimmortal: And yeah, I feel like I've worked through a lot of things internally and met a lot of people and I don't know, like a lot of internal growth and more wisdom.

So those are some of the differences, but there's also a lot that still has remained the same. I look at photos of myself back then, I'm like, I look the same.

Steph Gancayco: Yeah, you do.

Kimmortal: But yeah, that's kind of a short sum up.

Steph Gancayco: I know you've talked a lot through your work about inherited trauma and healing, but is there anything that you feel like you don't really have to explain anymore through your work? Or I guess what are you interested in writing about now? You'd mentioned having more fun, and I mean your work feels more like...It's like more hot or sexy. I don't know how to describe it, but something like that. You know?

Kimmortal: Yeah, totally. Absolutely. Like that's definitely something I've worked through over the years. And I feel like my track, This Dyke, was like a portal and an entry point for me to be like like the journey of making each song is like a lesson. There's something I went through. Like with This Dyke, I worked with one of my friends to produce that track. And when I first started writing it, I was like, I wanna make like a funny, sexy song. Like I'm gonna make fun of shit. But then my friend was like, why? Is queer sex like funny to you? And I was like, damn.

Steph Gancayco: Shit, word, okay.

Kimmortal: And then they were like, what if you like really leaned in and what if you really defined what sexiness is to you? So yeah, This Dyke was definitely the one sexy song that I've ever written, and it took a lot for me to go through that door. so yeah. But yeah, I feel like what I'm trying to access more...I'm interested in what is both sacred and profane, like those two together, as opposed to separating it. So like getting ugly, like, what if you really went all the way with expressing rage and like how ugly it is to cry, ugly it is to be pissed off. 

Especially how I've been conditioned and how I'm expected to be with my disappointments, frustrations, like disappointments with relationships, all that. Like I'm supposed to be like, "Yeah, it was all good. I'm over it," you know, but it's so messy and I'm interested in just like the complexity of that. So yeah, like getting ugly, kind of like Gremlin era. Like I want to enter like Gremlin Goblin era. Because just like yeah, monsters. I feel like we have a plethora of that, of mythology and folklore as Filipinos to really access that ugly, grotesque. So I'm kind of...I don't know how I'm gonna get there, but I would like to enter that. And then also heartbreak. Just writing more about heartbreak in a in a kind of bipolar way. Like kind of up and down like like yeah I was having conversations with myself...yeah it was good...no I hated it...I love that person...no I hate them. Like just going back and forth.

G: I feel like that's a really relatable part of the human experience across the board. The back and forth or the making decisions while you're processing things. I could also see how the creation of creating through that is part of the processing too, which I think is beautiful. But you said something that stuck out to me about who you were as an artist in 2018. And that was I was thinking about 2018 here. It was like right when BLM was happening. It was right before the pandemic. And everyone was fighting for something, right? But you also mentioned shame, which I think is an interesting thing to bring up because I think...I know at least for me, Steph, for all of us we have public facing stuff that we do. And I can speak for myself when I know that there is shame that I deal with or grapple with. And I think a lot of folks in our position or even anyone in general deal with shame. I don't think that we as a culture today have a way of dealing with it or tools necessarily.

So I wanna know: how did your shame impact you or change you, or how do you work through it now?

Kimmortal: I felt because I was being a public facing artist, you're also working through things in public. And I think I put less pressure on myself to understand, put less pressure on myself to like have a clean statement. You know? And like, I don't have to speak on everything.

Like for me, I think an important lesson I've learned as a hip hop artist, as an artist influenced by Black music, I feel like the the BLM time, the bringing that up is so key because I feel like so many Filipinos have found...I mean I'm gonna speak for myself, but I grew up Northwest coast. Vancouver is just above the border of Seattle. So a lot of my friends and influences, or my influences became my friends, were over the border. So like Macklemore--I'm sorry I'm bringing him up--but Macklemore was part of the posse of like Blue Scholars and like Gabriel Teodros, Kings, Rogue Pinay, Hollis were part of this crew. And then there was Common Market. I love the hip hop that came out of Seattle and those were my influences. I became politicized in university, 'cause I went to Christian school. So I'm totally going off tangent, but this is going somewhere. But all my music was like education through hip hop and rap. And I feel like I lived in that place in that time of hip hop.

And then BLM and conversations around anti-Blackness within the Asian POC non Black communities were happening in like 2017, maybe 2018 or whatnot.

G: I think they're still happening.

Kimmortal: Yeah, absolutely. If anything, they're not happening as much. I feel like there's been a regression. And even in the pro-Palestinian movement, there's like, you know, anyways. 

Steph Gancayco: You can keep going.

Kimmortal: There's like so many gaps and I'm like...And then I'm like...And then I'm like. Anyways, but in terms of the shame that I'm talking about, I feel like I've worked through a lot in relationship and not in public. Like those lessons are just in relationship. So I've had to really prioritize that. And it's like a spiritual work. And you can't really like show that. Like that's not something...like you have to work through it and like in your own.

G: I actually relate a lot because I've gone through a few PR nightmares myself. And there was this internalized pressure to be perfect and do everything a certain way. Which I think there was a strength in that striving for perfection. But on the other end of it, it could also be debilitating if it wasn't okay. Or if there was any perceived sense of failure, it would just be like a shame doom loop. But I realized over some time that some battles, not every battle is mine to fight, right?

And also I think because in the social climate that we're in today, everyone is so ready to critique anyone for messing up. Like you don't even have to be a public figure. You could just be a human being that reposted something that, I don't know, did something wrong. Everyone's so ready to demonize and do all these things.

And right now we as a people are so critical of everyone else, but no one's looking at ourselves. So when you said, part of my shame process is actually dealing in things with relations and dealing with things on my own because it's like a personal thing, which I think is also spiritual. But I think it fits a definition of being self-critical, meaning not critical like, I hate myself, critical meaning like practicing a self-awareness about your understanding and position in whatever situation, the world, and then having your own relationship and understanding with that versus it being dependent on shame demons and clout drama trolls.

Kimmortal: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I feel like my growth around dealing with my shame has also run parallel with me being understanding of my mental health complexities and like just learning about rejection as it relates to ADHD, you know? Like there's some--I forgot what that is--but there's a rejection thing where you really hyperfixate. Like I do so much of that.

Where does the perfectionism come from? Like that comes from my placements, that comes from how I was raised, from the system. So it's a lot of like, I'm doing less of 'I suck," and I'm turning it more to "this system sucks and has really hurt me and how I talk to myself."

It's so mean. It hates me. So I wanna hate that, you know, like that is constant because I still battle every day with that. But it's definitely less than 10 years ago, and I'm so happy I'm not there anymore because I used to just like, really be drowning deep in it. And I'm like whoooo like, I lightened it. I'm really happy I'm not there anymore. 

G: Can I ask you a personal question? Cause I have the critic voice, but it's like a true bitch. It's like actually, I hate her too. I actually love hate her, but she's annoying.

Kimmortal: Yeah, like when she comes up and I like her, I'm like, she's so funny. Like I appreciate when she comes up 'cause it's like, she's right to some extent.

Steph Gancayco: Right, like helping you look at, face yourself or the things that you actually do and stuff like that.

Kimmortal: Yeah, yeah. Or like when she assesses others. You know what I mean?

G: It could be funny, right?

Steph Gancayco: Yeah, no, that's fair, for sure.

G: I think I have a tendency for that anyway, but I know it's actually my mom's voice that I'm hearing. Not to be a victim or hate or whatever, but when I frame it in that way, it helps me accept that it's a thing and I can see it for what it is. I was wondering if that was similar for you, 'cause I think for a lot of Asians, or Filipinos too, we have the moms who love us so much and then it it's expressed in like that.

Kimmortal: The mother wound.

Steph Gancayco: Critique. Like constant criticism or something.

Kimmortal: Totally. Like, my mom is so mean. Like, she's so funny too. Like, wow, I kind of described her in the same way like that critical bitch is.  I think I would like to discern it more and name it as a mother wound more.

I don't think I do that actually enough. Like I don't have too much family psychology coursing through me. Maybe it's the middle child in me that's like, I there there's something wrong with me or something. But recently I saw a meme or video of an Ilokano mom and it was like a skit. You know those skits where they have the voice of their mom in the background. And it was like literally my mom. And I was like, my god, it's the same. Like they're so crude and fucking mean. And I'm like, okay. Like I thought I was unique. I thought my trauma with my mom was unique.

Steph Gancayco: When I was in San Diego last week, there was a teaching moment because when we went to go see my partner's parents who are Ilokano and the first thing the mom says is, "Wow, you're gaining weight!" And I was like...yeah...and she could tell that I was not about it. I was really polite about it, but I definitely talked to my partner afterwards and was like, yo, like, come on, man.

I don't know. Like I have my boundaries at this point in my life. Like at my big age. I don't need to be taking this from anyone, even if it's your mom who you absolutely love. She's great. But it's just like, I don't need this. Like no one does this to me in my life. So I don't need that. And and it was like a teaching moment for his mom because I guess the next day, the mom actually apologized to my partner immediately and was like, Hey, I said this, I made some comments. So she's like, but I'm so sorry, but this is just how we speak to each other, and da-da-da, I speak to all your manangs, your titas this way. And he was like, Yeah, but do you think that people like that? You know what I mean? Like, look at our cousin who doesn't come around anymore because they don't want to have to hear from people picking them apart about their looks and stuff. So I think she had a big moment, you know. But like I said, I was like, I have my boundary. Like, sorry, I don't care if it's cultural. I'm Filipino too. But like, you know what I'm saying? I don't want to deal with this shit. I just had to do it, you know? But shit like that, it's like, what the hell?

Kimmortal: Yeah. I love that. My god. That's another thing too. I love that you said, like, I get it's cultural. But whatever. Like that's a key. That's definitely a key that I've internalized too. I'm like, I don't care if you're blood or if you're like close. You know?

Steph Gancayco: Exactly. I'm like, I just don't deal with that. No one does this to me. Like I don't deserve this.

Kimmortal: No one does this to me in my life. I love that sentence.

Steph Gancayco: Like what the fuck? So yeah, I definitely before mentioning anything took it back and thought about it and I internalized things. But it was just like in the end, I don't like this. Like if you could speak to her, that'd be great. I don't wanna have to have this type of interaction anymore. if I'm gonna be around.

G: Well you know what, props to him for doing that. And I hope you're giving him a lot of high fives because that's what's up.

Steph Gancayco: Yeah. Word. I was like, thank you.

Kimmortal: Yay, high five though.

G: That's good.

Steph Gancayco

So related to this, Kim, I saw in a recent interview that you described yourself as someone who raps, sing, produces, makes art, and also is a star.

Did you have to learn how to claim that or like unlearn, to believe that in yourself? Or is it something that you've always known and that you've, you know,

Kimmortal

Well like on a scientific level, there's two answers. A scientific level is we're made of stars, so I'm a star. Like I'm actually, I'm stars. And then

G

Give it to us.

Kimmortal

on a human level, spiritual level that is not gaining validation from like, white supremacist gaze. I am a star. Like I don't need a stage. I don't need to be platformed, a spotlight. Like I am a star. And then on an internal artistic--there's three answers--on an internal artistic level, like when I'm creating or when I'm in flow state, performing, flowing through words or flowing in visuals or whatever it is, I feel like a star. Like I feel like I'm moving. I feel like I'm connected. I feel that.

And I love that when I can be in that or when I see others in it. I went to a show recently and I'm like, my God, that whole band is in flow state. Whoa. I love that. And I feel like it's interrupted. Like we forget it because of this dismal dystopia that is separating us from that reality that we are very much stars.

So that's kind of where it comes from for me.

Steph Gancayco

I know a big important part of us naming the podcast Icons is that we really want to claim this for ourselves or to name ourselves as icons, if that makes sense. Because again, we don't need validation from other people. I think it's really important for us to all claim that for ourselves. Because we do forget all the time.

Kimmortal

Yeah, definitely. I love that you're doing this podcast. I listened to the first podcast and I was like, yes.

And when do you hear Filipinos spoken about as icons? You know? And that makes me emotional and also like mad, you know. Amazing.

Steph Gancayco

Absolutely. my God. That's why we've all been doing this work,

Kimmortal

We're so blessed.

Steph Gancayco

for so long. I think it's because even though now Filipino stuff is like, so mainstream or whatever, not as if we weren't always here, but I feel like people are finally discovering Filipino cultures or Filipino culture, now. But we've always been here and we've always been doing hot shit, so...

G

I was telling Steph this the other day 'cause I was just Googling, like I like to read the news, and I was looking up like Filipino, Pinay stuff on culture, art, whatever. And like the internet is on fire. 'Cause there was Manila Fashion Week, there's lumpia at Disneyland, P Pop is taking over the streaming category of music.

So there's stuff in fashion, there's a movie that just came out that has a 100% Rotten Tomatoes review.

Kimmortal

For Filipiniana? Or Forgotten Island or?

Steph Gancayco

Probably Forgotten Island.

G

For Forgotten Island, yeah.

Kimmortal

Okay, I'm seeing that soon.

G

So there's so much in the happening in the mainstream stuff. And I was trying to do research to be like, okay, what is an angle or something? But I realized that a lot of what I'm finding that's accessible, it goes through like the PR filter. And I think a lot of who we are and what we talk about and the communities and folks that we represent don't pass the PR filter.

So there's still stories like yours and stories like ours and like the queers and the underground producers and the behind the scenes girl that's not gonna be represented like the way Filipinos are now. I don't think that will happen because the PR filter won't allow it to. But that doesn't mean we're not sticking, right? It doesn't mean that we're not icons and it's not that we're like fighting for it or trying to believe that we are. We know that we are.

And there's a difference between like believing and knowing. Like you said, I don't need to believe I'm a star, I know I'm a star, which we know we're fucking iconic.

Kimmortal

Yeah. Totally. One hundred percent. And you know that in the future, the queer trans Filipinx subculture is gonna somehow seep in and influence those that got through the PR filter gate, you know, as it does. But I like being here. Like this is the soil.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, absolutely. For sure.

G

Yeah, I'm not I'm not mad about it.

Kimmortal

Like this is where I've been and where you kinda gotta make a decision to sometimes stay in. Cause what do you want? What nourishes you? And I fucking love histories and our resistance histories, and how that is in the arts and I just love it. Like that's my bread and butter.

Steph Gancayco

Have you ever had to deal with issues like...I don't say selling out, but like, have you been asked to work on projects that really didn't make sense for you in terms of your beliefs, your political beliefs, your who you want to be seen as? Do you have any stories like that?

Kimmortal

Definitely. Yeah. I got asked by Dove Soap to create a stupid promo series where I would rap. Like they wanted me to create fifteen to thirty second freestyle raps on people who commented on their soap ads. And I the theme of it was I had to say they were beautiful. Like you're beautiful just the way you are. But then I was looking up the history of Dove soap and how it's connected to whitening. And then I was like hell no. So there was that. 

And then there's this really popular coffee chain in Canada called Tim Hortons. And they wanted to do some sort of thing. And I was like what? This is not my brand and stuff and this is so weird. Or like, being a part of an artist series where I would be on a sticker for like a wine bottle. Stuff like that. And then there's just other things where I'm just not inclined. I'm just not interested enough in different things.

G

Well, I'm glad that you have consciousness and integrity over clout and the chase. I think that's really refreshing and really beautiful. And it should be an example. It's an example that I think people should follow because we live in interesting times.

I think you mentioned something about going into say rock or something. And I feel like there's something spir...I feel like you're a spiritual person and also I share a Christian thing too.

Kimmortal

Like what kind of Christian? 'Cause there's so many within.

G

I was raised in a cult called the Iglesia ni Cristo. So they're like Mormons. That's the easiest way to describe them, or like Jehovah's Witness or something. It's really similar.

Steph Gancayco

But it's really big in the Philippines, right?

Kimmortal

Yeah, it is.

G

They're like the number one Christian denomination in Asia. They also do swing voting. And when there was a lot of stuff with Duterte, it was discovered that the church was giving him a lot of money. And every time someone's running for president, they go to the church to ask for their favor. And all these things came out. And I think they had to do a lot to do with Maria, the girl who ran Rappler.

Kimmortal

Ressa, yeah.

G

Yeah. I think they had a game to play in what happened with her, because Rappler was really doing a lot of investigative journalism against the church. But anyway, one thing that came out of my experience with that was music. It was really traumatizing, very anti-black and anti-gay. but I think even though I'm not religious in that sense, I think I am deeply spiritual.

But I know that you just released a bunch of stuff and you're about to be working on some new stuff and I'm just wondering, I don't know, I'm really interested in your creative process and like your obsession. I just want to like know more about it.

Kimmortal

So I went to a Pentecostal church and my church was so like, left of center because there was like a skate park in the back. Like there was a rock band, like they had a whole audio visual team. They had a fucking podcast before podcasts were out, it was like a cult in that way. Like everyone up there on the stage was actually related. It was so fucked and the church is now called Relate church in Surrey. So like what? Right? Like I had crushes on skater boys,

G

Ha ha

Kimmortal

This was the time of like Avril Lavigne, Evanescence, Ashlee Simpson. I'm also a sibling of an older sister. She was Jessica. I was Ashlee. I was Mary Kate. She was Ashley. No, no, I was Ashlee. She was Jessica. So like whiteness, white culture, rock, like that kind of era. And my praise music, the praise and worship music I grew up with was very much like Hillsong United, which is a cult in and of itself.

And rock, Christian rock right? Like I grew up on that and actually my entry into hearing rap was like Tupac and also Da' T.R.U.T.H. who's this Southern Christian rapper but it was called secular music. Growing up, hip hop in the school I went to was considered like the devil's music, Like anti-Black as fuck. like missionaries all around, you know, like mission trips. The first time I left Canada was to Guatemala to a missions trip. I was fifteen.

And I felt so at home because I was like, my god, all these brown people. What the fuck? Like everyone is relating to me in a way that I've never been related to before.

Anyways, very interesting and complex and traumatizing. And also there is a root of like, the spirit moves in interesting ways, which I really connect to. I know it's very colonized, but there is this spirituality that I've kept and that I understand for Filipinos, like our animism, our pre-colonial spirituality will seep through the filter and the gate of whatever it is that is used as a tool against us. So I feel like, no, I've definitely come to terms and peace with that colonized Christian upbringing.

But who's to say that it doesn't influence what I like now? And musically, the direction I'm going into? Cause I'm not just a rapper or I'm not just influenced by hip hop. Like my favorite band is Incubus and Our Lady of Peace. I'd love to have it come through in my music, but over the years when I've performed with live bands, I'm like, can we play this song a different way? Can we make it more ragey punk rock? Like, can I just scream? Can I just let it out? Like I don't wanna perform cool. I've never wanted to perform cool. And when I have, I've been like, this is boring, let's change it up. So I'm moving in that direction, but I'm also getting older and I need to take care of my voice. So I'm not trying to be all screamo and shit, but 

maybe bits and pieces. Or maybe I'll hire a friend to scream on a track or something. But yeah, that's kind of that journey.

Steph Gancayco

That's so cool. I know one of my favorite bands growing up that kind of radicalized me as a young teen was Bikini Kill. And a lot of the music coming out of like Olympia, Washington, like that scene, like Sleater-Kinney, super angry lesbian or queer rock, was my shit growing up.

Kimmortal

Riot grrrl.

Steph Gancayco

Right, riot grrrl, exactly.

Well, just noting as an observer of your work, I feel that you're really channeling spirit when you perform. I've seen you live and it just felt very connected and then like all of your videos and stuff. It's like even if you are kind of perf like, yeah, I don't know. It just feels like you're channeling something important.

Kimmortal

Thank you. That's so...I really need to hear that.

It's hard to actually understand or keep that understanding of performance in a channeling spirit place because that's not how it's understood in this system. You don't always get a stage. You know what I mean? Like, you don't always get to perform. So there's this really dope duo coming out of Vancouver, and they're influenced by ragatak and budots and performance as ritual and ceremony. So their shows are very much not audience or observer and performer. I'm interested in the way they use performance as ritual and ceremony

Steph Gancayco

Who is that? Are you able to say?

Kimmortal

Yeah, I didn't even say! Gulod Tanawin.

Steph Gancayco

It's a duo, right? I feel like I follow them. I've heard of them. Have you worked with them before? 

Kimmortal

Yeah, I'm working with them. we have a remix of This Dike coming out next year and their version is ragatak and it's so good. They're so good, they're also so sweet and like costumes and shit.

G

Okay, so we we all know what budots is, but for those who don't know what ragatak is, can you explain?

Kimmortal

Yeah, let me just Google that right now.

Steph Gancayco

Ha ha ha

Kimmortal

Ragatak is a popular genre and style of heavy bass DJ remix and sound system battle music heavily viral in the Philippines. How absolutely vague.

G

Ahat?

Kimmortal

That's so vague. Like where? Like what's the context? But my friend, who's half of the duo was saying that the first time they witnessed ragatak was like in this village, rural area outside of Manila. Like way outside. And they were just passing through and there was a basketball court and huge sound systems. And they played Ragatak and it wasn't like woooo you know, it wasn't like, whoa, you know, like I don't know how to explain. Like romanticized or whatever. It was just embedded in the community. Just that story that my friend told me about how they saw it in the Philippines was very...I have to give you the definition. But they said that there's no Wikipedia on it. There's very little research on it. But it's definitely Filipino.

Steph Gancayco

I feel like it's kinda like budots a few years ago where there wasn't really...like it's so regional or it's very much everyday part of life for people, and having gatherings together out there, but there wasn't really a lot of context for people outside of the Philippines.

Kimmortal

Yeah, totally. And honestly, as it should be. You know what I mean? I'm also aware of that too. Like I'm gonna release a budots track, but I really wanna respect it. 'Cause it's like when I first talked to someone who's from the Philippines that, I told them budots and they're like, oh my god, budots is so sacred. And I was like, Whoa, okay, versus like, understandings of Southeast Asian music as cheap and tacky. So I'm just learning more about it actually. There's a really good article about it that the manager of DJ Love wrote and it's exquisite. It's incredible. I gotta read it a couple times. I'll send it to you guys. It's so good. I think you'll like it. It's wonderfully written. And it gives so much respect to our forms of music and that's the kind of respect I wanna give this budots track. And the fact that I even worked with DJ Love is such an honor. So I wanna just uplift as much as I possibly can.

Steph Gancayco

Word. That's crazy. How did the collaboration come about? I know you you're gonna be releasing it, maybe next year, something, right?

Kimmortal

So I've always wanted to release a remix EP of This Dyke and I was like, I'm gonna hit up producers I wanna work with and then I just was like, I'm gonna hit up DJ Love and let's see what happens.

So I sent him a video message on Instagram. And I was in the prairies of Canada in Banff, Alberta, in the middle of winter. And so it was snowing like crazy behind me. And I sent him a video. I was like, hi DJ Love, ako po si Kimmortal, I was like, hi Kuya. I was like I was I would love to work with you. if this is possible, it would be amazing. We love you here in Canada, Filipinos in Canada. And then he responded back! And he was like, I'm pretty sure he said "Hello mamsir" like I swear. I am pretty sure he's like he's like kumusta mamsir or whatever.

Steph Gancayco

Nice, nice, nice.

Steph Gancayco

Kimmortal

and then yeah. And then we have a track. And that was back in last November.

G

what was the music collaboration production process like?

Kimmortal

So the production process was like, hey, I would love if you remix this track. So I sent him the stem the stems and then he sent me, I think, two versions, and then I gave my input and we changed the bassline and then I was like, maybe you can work with this vocal stem, like chop it up more. Like you don't have to stay true to the form of the track. Cause at first it was like, okay, it's exactly the track, but just budots. But I was like, maybe you can just play with the repetition more and it doesn't have to be linear kind of thing. And I really like the final version. Yeah.

Steph Gancayco

my god, I'm so excited.

Kimmortal

It's such a good track to just dance to. Like I feel like it ends too soon.

G

Well, you know, I love a track with a radio version, a club mix. The extended version. It's great for DJs. We love an extended 'cause then it's easier to mix.

Kimmortal

Okay, okay, cool, good to know.

Steph Gancayco

So you're releasing an album with multiple remixes by different producers of your track, This Dyke. So for this version, what do you hope that Filipinos who hear it will maybe catch that a non-Filipino listener might not catch or like, people have no context about this very distinctly Filipino musical beat.

Kimmortal

I like that it's Filipino. And like it's Filipino. Like this is coming out of the Philippines.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah. For sure.

Kimmortal

And isn't it amazing? You know, like I don't know, and like it's for us, you know. And it's also, like it comes from somewhere and there's a whole history to it and we can deep dive on one of our forms. Whoa, you know.

G

That's sickening.

Steph Gancayco

I went to a party that Barrio Bounce. They it they do it out here in the Bay, but I went to one in New York like a couple of months ago. And it was dope just to see people in the club--some of them were Filipino, but most of them weren't. It was just a cool ass like hipster ravey event. And it was like, this is what I've always dreamed of, you know, where it's like very specifically Filipino music or art or whatever it is, but it's enjoyed by everyone. Like it's for everyone. You know what I mean? They could get the context or they don't necessarily need to or if they want to look into it they can, but it was mostly just people were just dancing and it was just hella fun, you know, and it  was sick.

Like I was like, okay, cool. It's definitely very clear what the music is and where it comes from and it's a Southeast Asian dance party or whatever. But I thought that was sick. And I feel like that's a direction that I hope we keep moving towards in culture and art in general.

Kimmortal

And like, it's a dance. Like budots comes from dance. I watched this documentary where DJ Love explains the movement. So there's like this movement, and then there's like...anyways, some of it was like the the mission behind budots was for the community to participate in what is positive, which is dance and music. And so it was like no to drugs, no to violence. And so the movements are like that. They're actual movements like that.

He explains it in this doc. I thought that was interesting. But like even the sounds, like it's the sounds of the jeepney, you know, or it's like the sounds of the streets there. So it's a reflection of that. And it's also like when I hear it, I wanna laugh and I wanna be joyful and dance.

Steph Gancayco

Word. Yeah, it's so uplifting for sure.

G

I think it's also really interesting too because I learned that the Filipino market is really big right now because there's a diaspora everywhere, right? But also the Filipino community is fiercely loyal and really loud online when anything Filipino happens. So I think Yeah.

Kimmortal

Uy, Pilipins!

Steph Gancayco

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

G

So I'm just excited for you in general, but also with the new light that we have. I don't know, it could be interesting, right? But I wanted to ask because you've been traveling a lot and also it's no secret that you have a political point of view and that you believe in things that you believe in. I was wondering if or what the response has been for people who were Filipino or not Filipino or what it's been like outside of the country.

I was just curious about what the response has been like for an artist who is really authentic and also not scared to be authentic.

Kimmortal

For example, my track Stop Business As Usual, when I've performed it in Berlin, like people sing along with me. If anything, that song is like a tester to see who I will continue to do the show with enthusiasm, you know?

Like it's a good litmus test to the vibe. Who's with it and like

Steph Gancayco

Like who's with the shits or

Kimmortal

you know, doesn't matter where you're from. Like in Germany, in Spain that I've performed it, people sing along with me, I find that people take their cameras out and start filming me. That's the song where people film me. Because like for people that don't have a platform or something or aren't the type to speak out, but they fuck with the stop the genocide. They're anti-colonial, right? They will film it and they'll post it and for them that means something to them. You know what I mean? Like for them, that's their expression of their beliefs is to repost that video of all the songs I've done in my set. They'll repost that and I'm like, okay, so it shows what they believe and so that's been cool to support, and to keep that going.

And then there's where people,,,I've had like, I can only count on one hand bad experiences. Where people have come up to me after a show or during the show, like cuss me out. Like this one lady went from the back of the room to the front and started cussing my whole band out and was like, there's no genocide. That was a story in and of itself. But the people that surrounded her held their keffiyehs up and pushed her out, like talking her down. That was such a beautiful act of community. And these were like anti-Zionist, queer Jew community that came to see my show. They went right up to her and moved her out.

Or like, I have the horror stories of like, Zionists in the crowd that are in the art scene. That are like, you don't want to know where I'm from. You know, like that. But then those I can count that on my hand. To actually experience progressive communities all around the world is really affirming 'cause it's like, nope, we're out here, you know, and you guys are fighting your own fight here in Germany, you're fighting your own fight here in Spain, and meeting progressive Filipinos, queer trans Filipinos in different countries.

Like they really appreciate me. They're like, You're a shooting star, I had to come see you. Cause we don't have this. Like Filipino American, Filipino Canadian musicians that are progressive, it's very rare in other countries. And I hope for more of the traveling to happen. Cause I feel like there's so much of it in the States and there's so much of it here. And I just hope for more cross-cultural, cross-border traveling because also as an artist I've grown just from having experiences and seeing how my music hits in a different place is also a really great experience to go through. 

Steph Gancayco

You mentioned in a recent interview that you connected with a Barcelona-based Filipino org called Espai Kapwa.

Kimmortal

Yeah, yeah, they're so amazing.

Steph Gancayco

How was meeting comrades, essentially, while being in Spain? And also shooting your video. I know that you released a single recently with Kuni Tomita, Asian Boss Bitch. It was so cool to see your work with a Japanese Spanish artist. And then also doing it in a place of one of our longest colonizers. What was that like?

G

Yeah, I need to hear that.

Kimmortal

Yeah, for sure. Well Madrid and Barcelona is beautiful. It's gorgeous.

So I learned about Espai Kapwa through Rocky Rivera actually because I was like, shit, Rocky Rivera's in Barcelona? Who's organizing the show? And then I learned of Espai Kapwa. I think she performed there in 2025. And Espai Kapwa is a small progressive Filipino org. It's run by a couple. They have a daughter and they live right in the heart of the city in Barcelona. And we started organizing online this show and they're so humble, sweet, and they kept telling me when Filipino American or Filipino Canadian musicians come around, it's a shooting star. We have to do a show. And then they organized from the ground up like, small little venue. They did an eskrima workshop before I performed. There's a guro that lives in Barcelona. And he taught the crowd how to use your everyday materials to defend yourself. So he used a hat. He's like, you don't need a stick, you can use your hat. And then there was these amazing drag musicians that did a whole theater skit about domestic workers in Spain.

And I was like, damn. And I don't know, just like meeting Spanish-speaking Filipinos was a trip. Like I was like, whoa, like, whoa. One of them also raps in Catalan. Catalon? Yeah. Like Catalan, Tagalog, Bisaya, English. I was like, wow. But yeah, they're just saying in Spain, they're such a small progressive community and they're completely outnumbered by conservative Filipinos that are down with the Spanish.

Steph Gancayco

Like they improved our cultures and our country or something like that?

Kimmortal

Yeah. Very, very settled. And I was like, whoa, what a different experience.

Steph Gancayco

Interesting.

G

That's so interesting.

Kimmortal

It was really interesting. But yeah, Kuni Tomita is just so amazing, like such an icon and such a star. He's an actor. He had a huge team because he's so in the film industry. And there was a huge team that came to make the film, that was absolutely epic.

And he wanted to honor Filipino history and like how the Spanish fucked us up. So he wrote the whole scene, the one that I'm in, and he honored my lyrics. He did research on the Katipunan and he was like, I had no idea. Holy shit, you know.

G

Wow. Wait, is this a Spanish person?

Steph Gancayco

I just got chills.

Kimmortal

Half Japanese, half Spanish. From Madrid. Queer.

G

That's really cool.

Steph Gancayco

the video was very cinematic and very sick for sure.

Kimmortal

But yeah, have you heard of Filipinos, the chocolate?

G

No.

Kimmortal

Okay, so before I flew to Spain, one of my friends was like, you gotta get Filipinos. And I was like, What are you talking about? He's like, It's this chocolate bar. And it's originated, I think, in Portugal, and in Spain. And I was like, You're fucking joking me. And if you look it up, it's literally called Filipinos and it comes in dark, white and milk or something. And I was talking about it on the first day I flew in, I said, Kuni, there's this chocolate called Filipinos, and he's like yeah, amazing. And then I was getting my makeup done and then I was like, Have you heard of this Filipinos chocolate bar? Everyone, all the makeup artists, all of them Spanish, were like so good, grew up with it, part of my childhood.

Steph Gancayco

Crazy. Okay.

Kimmortal

And then Kuni comes through the and is like, Here you go, Kim, and I was handed the Filipinos chocolate bar, and I took a bite out of it. Taste test. So good. It's like chocolate wafer. Like a chocolate biscuit. And everyone likes the white one better. Isn't this so wild?

Steph Gancayco

I was gonna say, this is like kinda deep.

Kimmortal

I was like, okay, yeah, they're eating freaking Filipinos, you know? And I'm like, isn't this weird? And no one really focused on that. So I was like, okay, cultural. I have a video of me like eating it and I'm like, maybe I'll release this and be like, This is my time in Spain.

Steph Gancayco

That's crazy.

So I think we're gonna try to kinda wrap up. We have a bunch of...I don't know, Gueriilla, if you wanna ask a couple of questions about the more industry stuff. And then we have s a bunch of little rapid fire questions at the end.

G

Yes. I am really interested in your journey as an artist because I come from DIY culture and a do-it-yourself or grassroots organizing, figuring it out. Like I never went to school, I'm bad at school, so I taught everything to myself and crowdfunded for a camera or a laptop. So I'm saying that to say, doing things without resources...

Kimmortal

You're the true artist. Just saying. That's a true artist right there.

G

We all are, we all are. But I'm saying that to say without access to resources, if you have the will, you have the way and there's a like, ingenuity, creativity or whatever. But I wanted to ask you about your experience, like say you're gonna release a single, and then there's a whole marketing plan rollout that you have to have for it. But traditionally, there's a team or a label or manager that does that. But now the artist has to make the music, produce the music, mix and master, then do the content strategy and the creation and the posting. So the stakes have become a lot more higher, I guess, or challenging.

And I was just curious about what are some things that you would need or want to have it the way you want?

Kimmortal

I think in the end of the day when an artist knows where they wanna go, I think that's the key. Like when they are staying true to their fans, their community, where they want to make art, quality art. And that's their main goal is to connect and return, continue to return back to community and friends, because I feel like you can be pulled away from community and friends. In this you can get lost and it's like a constant remembrance to go back to where it, where like you know your community friends will tell you, yeah, like yeah, that's not good or whatever, like yeah, that doesn't s speak to me. Or there's this resonance that only your community can know. And like what we were talking about, the subculture, which is directly behind the PR filter, like that PR filter is funding, connections, management team.

I feel like I'm in a place in my life right now where I would love to just return to my DIY ethic because I love DIY. Like, I love DIY. And also with the changing of social media, we have access to our people. Like talking directly to a camera. Like that's you. That's all you. You know?

It's not about being polished. It's not about that anymore.

Steph Gancayco

I think people w want that so badly, is to see the real person behind the work, in any field, you know?

Kimmortal

Yeah, like I wanna know you touch the art that you're giving to me, like whatever it is where you can just be hands-on with your work and put...like I hope it's your truth and your soul. And it's not being invaded by so many voices, outside voices.

G

I think it's also what you're saying is like the vulnerability to express or say things that aren't perfect, because there's this pressure to be perfect or it's never gonna happen, which is not a good thing. But then it's like, people wanna see it not be perfect. They wanna experience authenticity, right? And you have support in your community, right? But can you speak on that more?

Kimmortal

Well, I definitely like to--in terms of timing and rollout of a track--I'm like, okay, what if I need to talk to multiple people to be like, does it make sense to release it before Pride? Or like in the first quarter, or in the winter? Does this feel like I have to talk to and they're not even a part of my quote team. Like sometimes it's friends or it's other artists that I'm gonna be working with in the future. I need to talk to my friends to fact check time. Also when it comes to film stuff, I work with one filmmaker.

I like bouncing and vibing my ideas off people. I have an agent who's only within the Canadian territory. and I'm trying to get out of Canada more.

G

Tell them to bring you here, hello.

Kimmortal

Yeah, you know what really sucks is that the the visa is so expensive for me as a performer. Like I haven't performed in the States for a year because of the visa. Because the visa is around $5k just for Canadians to perform in the States. Yeah.

G

What? That's so crazy.

Steph Gancayco

What? Wow

Kimmortal

And it's rising. And then if you're political, then there's also shit like that, right? Like it's more precarious. So yeah, if y'all know anyone who wants to hire me and write me down or something, that will help me for an application process. But the reality is Canada's population is less than, if not equal to, California's population. Like all of Canada compared to California. So in terms of trying to connect to more people, the States is where it's at to perform.

But then it's such precarious times. People are like, why the fuck would you want to go to the States? So many Canadian musicians are like, I'm not going there. I don't want to contribute at all to that economy. Like fuck the US. And I'm like, yes, but my communities are like...I love performing in the States. So my goal is to keep leaving and traveling, and expanding and growing outside and to go to the Philippines next year. Like spend two months and create music there and and put my money into the Philippine artistic economy and collaborate there and learn Tagalog more.

G

I'm here for it. I'm here for all of it.

Steph Gancayco

That's definitely a huge part of the Hella Pinay thing is that I want to be doing more bridging work in terms of bringing artists there and bringing artists from the Philippines out here. mm-hmm. I think it's super important for us to experience each other's lives, you know?

Kimmortal

That part. Yes.

Steph Gancayco

So I guess to close, we just had a a bunch of quick questions that maybe aren't really related to music, but yeah. What's making you laugh lately?

Kimmortal

I just think it's funny when like everyone is down for something, but then there's that one person that like isn't down for something. And they're like, I don't like this. I think that's just funny. I don't know.

Yeah. And kids make me laugh.

G

That's a good sign that you like kids. That's a really good sign actually.

Steph Gancayco

What's something you wish you could tell twenty-year-old Kimmortal?

Kimmortal

Just like, why are you so hard on yourself? Just don't be so hard on yourself, little baby.

G

What's something currently making you feel like, holy shit, I'm really alive?

Kimmortal

I think it's because I don't smoke weed a lot, but when I smoke weed and I'm having a conversation with someone, I'm like, my god, I'm talking to someone.

Steph Gancayco

The same.

Kimmortal

Like, my god like, they're like hearing me and like I'm telling them my perspective. What the fuck?

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, it's like it gets you all like Yeah. Relatable. my God.

Word. what makes someone iconic to you?

Kimmortal

I think like if someone has a look, like if they have a look that's part of icons. So there's the physical and then iconic is like, what makes someone iconic is it if they're really stubbornly true to their perspective and unapologetic to themselves. To themselves. Not to be like, I'm unapologetic. They don't have to be like out there, but like they're really true to what resonates with them?

And also a little bit of like okay, 'cause like sometimes I think of my god, that's so iconic. And usually it's like someone just like took out something and they did like an extravagant like boom, boom, that's iconic. But then there's the iconics where  they just like shrink away in the corner. Like that's sometimes iconic. Or they're like, they have nothing to say because they don't wanna contribute because it's not moving them or something. Like I think that's iconic too.

Steph Gancayco

Definitely.

G

Sorry, Scorpio mind tricks right there.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, totally. Yeah, I'm like I'm like, I'm good. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm just gonna...

G

Can you name some Pinay or Filipino icons in your life?

Kimmortal

Yeah. I really love Tin Lorica, who's my partner and a comedian and a poet. They're very iconic to me. Their poetry is incredible. It makes you cry, laugh and get mad. And they really inspire me. I love their takes on anything Filipinx, anything queer, trans. Like I go to them and they'll say it in one little sentence. And I'm like, wow. For me, I really droll on. so they're a huge icon to me. You mentioned Maria Ressa. Just how she was censored when she spoke out about Duterte. And she's so fucking smart and well read. And journalists, period, are just incredible. Especially in the state of things right now. Journalists are incredible. And I think my ink friends, my friends who have done my ink. They're so not in the spotlight and they're just so dope. Like they're grief holders and healers and they have hot takes and they're hilarious and just like...baddies. Just like gay and trans as fuck.

And you guys, you guys are so amazing!

Steph Gancayco

Oh my god, we're like huge fans, humongous fans. Honestly.

G

Huge, huge.

Steph Gancayco

Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. No.

Kimmortal

Whoa, wow. You guys are doing incredible...I don't know anyone who's doing what you're doing. And I'm really grateful for your intention and energy. And you guys have such, what's that word? Good taste.

Steph Gancayco

Thank you.

G

Aww.

Kimmortal

Such good taste. And I love you, you know, there's the PR filter. There's like...the Hella Pinay filter and it's such great work that you're putting out there, like quality art, you know? And in this in this world where it's like you gotta be seen, you gotta like you gotta...yeah. Like you have great work. I'm really grateful for you guys. So Yeah.

Steph Gancayco

Thank you. my God. Thanks for being on this journey with us literally this entire time. We've been featuring you since like the beginning, you know, because it's just super aligned, you know, I think.

G

Literally.

Kimmortal

Yeah. Thank you for doing that. Hell yeah.

Steph Gancayco

thank you. I guess to end, you have a single that came out recently called Asian Boss Bitch. It's with Kuni Tomita. That just came out. and then upcoming projects in the new year, in 2027.

So I guess you could drop your where can people find you on internet.

Kimmortal

Cool. I'm on the internet at @kimmortaltheartist, all one word. And I'm on Kimmortalportal.com. And I'm on Bandcamp. Support artists on Bandcamp. I love it. And then my email. If anyone wants to book me out there, I'm looking for work. kimmortaltheartist@gmail.com.

Steph Gancayco

They're so amazing live. Like you have to see them. It's mind blowing. The thought that goes into the artistry, the lighting, the costumes, the band. Period. 

G

And look at their music videos too. Amazing. So good.

Kimmortal

Thank you. my god, thank you.

Steph Gancayco

Thanks so much for talking with us.

G

Thank you.

Kimmortal

Thank you guys. Thank you. I'm looking forward to listening to all the future episodes.

Steph Gancayco

Absolutely. So we're on IG at @hella_pinay. And then you can watch all the past episodes of the show, and then this one coming up on hellapinay.com/icons. So we'll see you guys soon. Thank you so much. Love you. Bye.

ELLA PINAY: ICONS

KIMMORTAL

EDITED TRANSCRIPT

This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity and readability. Filler words and repetitions have been removed while preserving the conversation and the speakers' voices.

Steph Gancayco

Hi everyone. Welcome. so today we have a very special guest on the podcast. their name is Kimmortal. hi. So yeah, hey, what's that? so Kimmortal is, I'm sure, very familiar to the Hella Pinay audience. but they're a queer Vancouver-based Philippine ex musician and super multidisciplinary artist, raised in Surrey.

To parents from Pangasinan and Negros Occidental. they weave their queerness in politics into rituals of joy and imagination. They have a background in hip-hop and spoken word within activist communities, painting, extensive theater acting, and also a degree in fine arts and art history. so they've toured through Canada, the US, UK, Spain, Germany, and they have released three full-length albums: Sincerity.

In 2014, X Marks the Swirl in 2019, and Shoebox in 2023, along with the recent EP Sunniest of Days that came out in 2025. they collaborated with artists such as Bobby Sanchez, Shad Kay, Supernova. They've opened for artists like Ruby Ibarra and Thundercat, and have also shared billings with artists like Chance the Rapper and Saul Williams. So Hella Pinay has featured Kimmortal a bunch of times over the years through many different stages of their artistry.from premiering their videos for Jungle, I'm Blue and Blue and Orange, to featuring them in our second print issue. And we're super excited to have them on the podcast and catch up. So yeah, thank you so much for being here.

Kimmortal

Thank you for inviting me to the coolest podcast in the world.

Steph Gancayco

We had hell of technical issues in the beginning, but we're getting we got it together. We're getting it together. So thank you for for your patience.

okay, so we usually everyone who comes on our show: what are your Big Three? Right out the gate.

Kimmortal

That's my favorite question. My Big Three is I'm a Sag Sun, I'm a Leo Moon, and a Cap Rising.

Steph Gancayco

That's a nice combo. Word.

Kimmortal

Actually, like last year for my birthday, I asked my mom of anything she could gift me is to tell me my birth time. Cause she kind of told all three of us that we were born at noon. So yeah, I thought I was Aquarius Rising for the longest time.

Steph Gancayco

wow, okay.

Kimmortal

Yeah, and yeah, I'm Cap Rising, which makes me really proud. Like I'm so proud that I have an affirmation that like my groundedness, like the ground, the calm in the storm comes from an Earth sign. So I'm like, yes. Cause I thought I was just like all like ~~~ which I am, but...yeah.

You guys are the same three, right? I listened to your past podcast. So like Scorpio Suns and then Aries? Okay, Leo Rising. Nice.

Steph Gancayco

Yes. Leo Rising and Aries Moon, but Guerrilla has has a similar kind of story with their birth time as well, if you wanna get get into it for a second.

G

Yeah, I wanted to ask you about how so your mom told you the birth correct birth time, right? I'm assuming. Cause my mom told me one basically like midnight, but then my birth certificate is like two hours later. So I'm either Virgo Rising or Leo Rising. But I also have like a lot of Virgo in my chart already. So it's like you're supposed to pick one, but it's actually hard to for me. And I just check both of them and they both mostly apply equally.

Kimmortal

It's the same thing with you because the Cap Rising and the Aquarius, like they're beside each other. So there's influences of that energy coming into that. But I'm still happy in my Cap rising. And I'll still check my Cap Rising. I don't read Aquarius Rising. I'm like, you're dead to me. But yeah, I don't know. I was just like for me, I was like, it all makes sense, cause also Sagittariuses in my life, they're so amazing and just like out there. And I was like, where does my introversion come from? Like, why am I the way I am? And for me, like Cap Rising really answered that.

Steph Gancayco

Word. Word.

Yeah, I guess just like moving on to music sturf.

So, okay, you've been making music since like the early 2010s, right? And your work has consistently moved between rap, singing, spoken word, visual art, theater, experimental production. I remember back when we featured you on Jungle in 2017, you were making the beats in like your mom's kitchen and sampling kulintang and you know, a much more DIY approach. But you were already talking about music as activism and community building and making space for BIPOC to be unapologetically visible. And I think that thread has basically continued since then, of course, but I feel like your scale and your confidence and like your artistic vocabulary has just changed, has grown, you know, enormously.

For like Swolitarian, for example, which came out in June, which is one of their latest singles. it's basically like a queer workout anthem about getting strong enough to defend yourself against fascism, right? So like when you look at the artists you were when we first featured you almost a decade ago versus who you are now, like what do you feel like is the biggest difference?

Kimmortal

Mm, yeah. well back then that was like 2018. So I think I was very hungry to like get myself out there. It was a lot of conversations in the community about like representation and it was very much like unapologetic, that kind of energy. And then also that was a time of the Me Too movement. There was the Water is Life movement in Canada. There was the anti-pipeline movement. So there was a lot of conversations about water. So a lot of diasporic art was about like the ocean, you know, like queerness and water and fluidity, gender fluidity, all that stuff. I also wasn't out as nonbinary. At that time in my life I was very like...I thought everyone around me had mental illness. I didn't think I had mental illness. That was like erratic times in my life. Like a lot of output. I think a a big thing personally and spiritually, I really was wanting to get it right. Like in terms of my activism. Like I was like I have to have it all in my music. All my lyrics have to reflect that, you know, like I had a lot of shame.

Also, I feel like from then that was like ten years ago, to now, I feel like I have more discernment. I don't feel like I have to prove myself and I'm okay with not knowing. And I'm trying to have more fun. And I'm not trying to get out there too much. Like I'm not trying to put myself in front of the camera as much. Which is kind of hard because social media has also changed a lot since then. 

Steph Gancayco

Yes, absolutely. my God. Mm-hmm.

G

So much.

Kimmortal

And yeah, I feel like I've worked through a lot of things internally and met a lot of people and I don't know, like a lot of internal growth and more wisdom.

So those are some of the differences, but there's also a lot that still has remained the same. I look at photos of myself back then, I'm like, I look the same.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, you do.

Kimmortal

But yeah, that's kind of a short sum up.

Steph Gancayco

I know you've talked a lot through your work about inherited trauma and healing, but is there anything that you feel like you don't really have to explain anymore through your work? Or I guess what are you interested in writing about now? You'd mentioned having more fun, and I mean your work feels more like...It's like more hot or sexy. I don't know how to describe it, but something like that. You know?

Kimmortal

Yeah, totally. Absolutely. Like that's definitely something I've worked through over the years. And I feel like my track, This Dyke, was like a portal and an entry point for me to be like like the journey of making each song is like a lesson. There's something I went through. Like with This Dyke, I worked with one of my friends to produce that track. And when I first started writing it, I was like, I wanna make like a funny, sexy song. Like I'm gonna make fun of shit. But then my friend was like, why? Is queer sex like funny to you? And I was like, damn.

Steph Gancayco

Shit, word, okay.

Kimmortal

And then they were like, what if you like really leaned in and what if you really defined what sexiness is to you? So yeah, This Dyke was definitely the one sexy song that I've ever written, and it took a lot for me to go through that door. so yeah. But yeah, I feel like what I'm trying to access more...I'm interested in what is both sacred and profane, like those two together, as opposed to separating it. So like getting ugly, like, what if you really went all the way with expressing rage and like how ugly it is to cry, ugly it is to be pissed off. 

Especially how I've been conditioned and how I'm expected to be with my disappointments, frustrations, like disappointments with relationships, all that. Like I'm supposed to be like, "Yeah, it was all good. I'm over it," you know, but it's so messy and I'm interested in just like the complexity of that. So yeah, like getting ugly, kind of like Gremlin era. Like I want to enter like Gremlin Goblin era. Because just like yeah, monsters. I feel like we have a plethora of that, of mythology and folklore as Filipinos to really access that ugly, grotesque. So I'm kind of...I don't know how I'm gonna get there, but I would like to enter that. And then also heartbreak. Just writing more about heartbreak in a in a kind of bipolar way. Like kind of up and down like like yeah I was having conversations with myself...yeah it was good...no I hated it...I love that person...no I hate them. Like just going back and forth.

G

I feel like that's a really relatable part of the human experience across the board. The back and forth or the making decisions while you're processing things. I could also see how the creation of creating through that is part of the processing too, which I think is beautiful. But you said something that stuck out to me about who you were as an artist in 2018. And that was I was thinking about 2018 here. It was like right when BLM was happening. It was right before the pandemic. And everyone was fighting for something, right? But you also mentioned shame, which I think is an interesting thing to bring up because I think...I know at least for me, Steph, for all of us we have public facing stuff that we do. And I can speak for myself when I know that there is shame that I deal with or grapple with. And I think a lot of folks in our position or even anyone in general deal with shame. I don't think that we as a culture today have a way of dealing with it or tools necessarily.

So I wanna know: how did your shame impact you or change you, or how do you work through it now?

Kimmortal

I felt because I was being a public facing artist, you're also working through things in public. And I think I put less pressure on myself to understand, put less pressure on myself to like have a clean statement. You know? And like, I don't have to speak on everything.

Like for me, I think an important lesson I've learned as a hip hop artist, as an artist influenced by Black music, I feel like the the BLM time, the bringing that up is so key because I feel like so many Filipinos have found...I mean I'm gonna speak for myself, but I grew up Northwest coast. Vancouver is just above the border of Seattle. So a lot of my friends and influences, or my influences became my friends, were over the border. So like Macklemore--I'm sorry I'm bringing him up--but Macklemore was part of the posse of like Blue Scholars and like Gabriel Teodros, Kings, Rogue Pinay, Hollis were part of this crew. And then there was Common Market. I love the hip hop that came out of Seattle and those were my influences. I became politicized in university, 'cause I went to Christian school. So I'm totally going off tangent, but this is going somewhere. But all my music was like education through hip hop and rap. And I feel like I lived in that place in that time of hip hop.

And then BLM and conversations around anti-Blackness within the Asian POC non Black communities were happening in like 2017, maybe 2018 or whatnot.

G

I think they're still happening.

Kimmortal

Yeah, absolutely. If anything, they're not happening as much. I feel like there's been a regression. And even in the pro-Palestinian movement, there's like, you know, anyways. 

Steph Gancayco

You can keep going.

Kimmortal

There's like so many gaps and I'm like...And then I'm like...And then I'm like. Anyways, but in terms of the shame that I'm talking about, I feel like I've worked through a lot in relationship and not in public. Like those lessons are just in relationship. So I've had to really prioritize that. And it's like a spiritual work. And you can't really like show that. Like that's not something...like you have to work through it and like in your own.

G

I actually relate a lot because I've gone through a few PR nightmares myself. And there was this internalized pressure to be perfect and do everything a certain way. Which I think there was a strength in that striving for perfection. But on the other end of it, it could also be debilitating if it wasn't okay. Or if there was any perceived sense of failure, it would just be like a shame doom loop. But I realized over some time that some battles, not every battle is mine to fight, right?

And also I think because in the social climate that we're in today, everyone is so ready to critique anyone for messing up. Like you don't even have to be a public figure. You could just be a human being that reposted something that, I don't know, did something wrong. Everyone's so ready to demonize and do all these things.

And right now we as a people are so critical of everyone else, but no one's looking at ourselves. So when you said, part of my shame process is actually dealing in things with relations and dealing with things on my own because it's like a personal thing, which I think is also spiritual. But I think it fits a definition of being self-critical, meaning not critical like, I hate myself, critical meaning like practicing a self-awareness about your understanding and position in whatever situation, the world, and then having your own relationship and understanding with that versus it being dependent on shame demons and clout drama trolls.

Kimmortal

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I feel like my growth around dealing with my shame has also run parallel with me being understanding of my mental health complexities and like just learning about rejection as it relates to ADHD, you know? Like there's some--I forgot what that is--but there's a rejection thing where you really hyperfixate. Like I do so much of that.

Where does the perfectionism come from? Like that comes from my placements, that comes from how I was raised, from the system. So it's a lot of like, I'm doing less of 'I suck," and I'm turning it more to "this system sucks and has really hurt me and how I talk to myself."

It's so mean. It hates me. So I wanna hate that, you know, like that is constant because I still battle every day with that. But it's definitely less than 10 years ago, and I'm so happy I'm not there anymore because I used to just like, really be drowning deep in it. And I'm like whoooo like, I lightened it. I'm really happy I'm not there anymore. 

G

Can I ask you a personal question? Cause I have the critic voice, but it's like a true bitch. It's like actually, I hate her too. I actually love hate her, but she's annoying.

Kimmortal

Yeah, like when she comes up and I like her, I'm like, she's so funny. Like I appreciate when she comes up 'cause it's like, she's right to some extent.

Steph Gancayco

Right, like helping you look at, face yourself or the things that you actually do and stuff like that.

Kimmortal

Yeah, yeah. Or like when she assesses others. You know what I mean?

G

It could be funny, right?

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, no, that's fair, for sure.

G

I think I have a tendency for that anyway, but I know it's actually my mom's voice that I'm hearing. Not to be a victim or hate or whatever, but when I frame it in that way, it helps me accept that it's a thing and I can see it for what it is. I was wondering if that was similar for you, 'cause I think for a lot of Asians, or Filipinos too, we have the moms who love us so much and then it it's expressed in like that.

Kimmortal

The mother wound.

Steph Gancayco

Critique. Like constant criticism or something.

Kimmortal

Totally. Like, my mom is so mean. Like, she's so funny too. Like, wow, I kind of described her in the same way like that critical bitch is.  I think I would like to discern it more and name it as a mother wound more.

I don't think I do that actually enough. Like I don't have too much family psychology coursing through me. Maybe it's the middle child in me that's like, I there there's something wrong with me or something. But recently I saw a meme or video of an Ilokano mom and it was like a skit. You know those skits where they have the voice of their mom in the background. And it was like literally my mom. And I was like, my god, it's the same. Like they're so crude and fucking mean. And I'm like, okay. Like I thought I was unique. I thought my trauma with my mom was unique.

Steph Gancayco

When I was in San Diego last week, there was a teaching moment because when we went to go see my partner's parents who are Ilokano and the first thing the mom says is, "Wow, you're gaining weight!" And I was like...yeah...and she could tell that I was not about it. I was really polite about it, but I definitely talked to my partner afterwards and was like, yo, like, come on, man.

I don't know. Like I have my boundaries at this point in my life. Like at my big age. I don't need to be taking this from anyone, even if it's your mom who you absolutely love. She's great. But it's just like, I don't need this. Like no one does this to me in my life. So I don't need that. And and it was like a teaching moment for his mom because I guess the next day, the mom actually apologized to my partner immediately and was like, Hey, I said this, I made some comments. So she's like, but I'm so sorry, but this is just how we speak to each other, and da-da-da, I speak to all your manangs, your titas this way. And he was like, Yeah, but do you think that people like that? You know what I mean? Like, look at our cousin who doesn't come around anymore because they don't want to have to hear from people picking them apart about their looks and stuff. So I think she had a big moment, you know. But like I said, I was like, I have my boundary. Like, sorry, I don't care if it's cultural. I'm Filipino too. But like, you know what I'm saying? I don't want to deal with this shit. I just had to do it, you know? But shit like that, it's like, what the hell?

Kimmortal

Yeah. I love that. My god. That's another thing too. I love that you said, like, I get it's cultural. But whatever. Like that's a key. That's definitely a key that I've internalized too. I'm like, I don't care if you're blood or if you're like close. You know?

Steph Gancayco

Exactly. I'm like, I just don't deal with that. No one does this to me. Like I don't deserve this.

Kimmortal

No one does this to me in my life. I love that sentence.

Steph Gancayco

Like what the fuck? So yeah, I definitely before mentioning anything took it back and thought about it and I internalized things. But it was just like in the end, I don't like this. Like if you could speak to her, that'd be great. I don't wanna have to have this type of interaction anymore. if I'm gonna be around.

G

Well you know what, props to him for doing that. And I hope you're giving him a lot of high fives because that's what's up.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah. Word. I was like, thank you.

Kimmortal

Yay, high five though.

G

That's good.

Steph Gancayco

So related to this, Kim, I saw in a recent interview that you described yourself as someone who raps, sing, produces, makes art, and also is a star.

Did you have to learn how to claim that or like unlearn, to believe that in yourself? Or is it something that you've always known and that you've, you know,

Kimmortal

Well like on a scientific level, there's two answers. A scientific level is we're made of stars, so I'm a star. Like I'm actually, I'm stars. And then

G

Give it to us.

Kimmortal

on a human level, spiritual level that is not gaining validation from like, white supremacist gaze. I am a star. Like I don't need a stage. I don't need to be platformed, a spotlight. Like I am a star. And then on an internal artistic--there's three answers--on an internal artistic level, like when I'm creating or when I'm in flow state, performing, flowing through words or flowing in visuals or whatever it is, I feel like a star. Like I feel like I'm moving. I feel like I'm connected. I feel that.

And I love that when I can be in that or when I see others in it. I went to a show recently and I'm like, my God, that whole band is in flow state. Whoa. I love that. And I feel like it's interrupted. Like we forget it because of this dismal dystopia that is separating us from that reality that we are very much stars.

So that's kind of where it comes from for me.

Steph Gancayco

I know a big important part of us naming the podcast Icons is that we really want to claim this for ourselves or to name ourselves as icons, if that makes sense. Because again, we don't need validation from other people. I think it's really important for us to all claim that for ourselves. Because we do forget all the time.

Kimmortal

Yeah, definitely. I love that you're doing this podcast. I listened to the first podcast and I was like, yes.

And when do you hear Filipinos spoken about as icons? You know? And that makes me emotional and also like mad, you know. Amazing.

Steph Gancayco

Absolutely. my God. That's why we've all been doing this work,

Kimmortal

We're so blessed.

Steph Gancayco

for so long. I think it's because even though now Filipino stuff is like, so mainstream or whatever, not as if we weren't always here, but I feel like people are finally discovering Filipino cultures or Filipino culture, now. But we've always been here and we've always been doing hot shit, so...

G

I was telling Steph this the other day 'cause I was just Googling, like I like to read the news, and I was looking up like Filipino, Pinay stuff on culture, art, whatever. And like the internet is on fire. 'Cause there was Manila Fashion Week, there's lumpia at Disneyland, P Pop is taking over the streaming category of music.

So there's stuff in fashion, there's a movie that just came out that has a 100% Rotten Tomatoes review.

Kimmortal

For Filipiniana? Or Forgotten Island or?

Steph Gancayco

Probably Forgotten Island.

G

For Forgotten Island, yeah.

Kimmortal

Okay, I'm seeing that soon.

G

So there's so much in the happening in the mainstream stuff. And I was trying to do research to be like, okay, what is an angle or something? But I realized that a lot of what I'm finding that's accessible, it goes through like the PR filter. And I think a lot of who we are and what we talk about and the communities and folks that we represent don't pass the PR filter.

So there's still stories like yours and stories like ours and like the queers and the underground producers and the behind the scenes girl that's not gonna be represented like the way Filipinos are now. I don't think that will happen because the PR filter won't allow it to. But that doesn't mean we're not sticking, right? It doesn't mean that we're not icons and it's not that we're like fighting for it or trying to believe that we are. We know that we are.

And there's a difference between like believing and knowing. Like you said, I don't need to believe I'm a star, I know I'm a star, which we know we're fucking iconic.

Kimmortal

Yeah. Totally. One hundred percent. And you know that in the future, the queer trans Filipinx subculture is gonna somehow seep in and influence those that got through the PR filter gate, you know, as it does. But I like being here. Like this is the soil.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, absolutely. For sure.

G

Yeah, I'm not I'm not mad about it.

Kimmortal

Like this is where I've been and where you kinda gotta make a decision to sometimes stay in. Cause what do you want? What nourishes you? And I fucking love histories and our resistance histories, and how that is in the arts and I just love it. Like that's my bread and butter.

Steph Gancayco

Have you ever had to deal with issues like...I don't say selling out, but like, have you been asked to work on projects that really didn't make sense for you in terms of your beliefs, your political beliefs, your who you want to be seen as? Do you have any stories like that?

Kimmortal

Definitely. Yeah. I got asked by Dove Soap to create a stupid promo series where I would rap. Like they wanted me to create fifteen to thirty second freestyle raps on people who commented on their soap ads. And I the theme of it was I had to say they were beautiful. Like you're beautiful just the way you are. But then I was looking up the history of Dove soap and how it's connected to whitening. And then I was like hell no. So there was that. 

And then there's this really popular coffee chain in Canada called Tim Hortons. And they wanted to do some sort of thing. And I was like what? This is not my brand and stuff and this is so weird. Or like, being a part of an artist series where I would be on a sticker for like a wine bottle. Stuff like that. And then there's just other things where I'm just not inclined. I'm just not interested enough in different things.

G

Well, I'm glad that you have consciousness and integrity over clout and the chase. I think that's really refreshing and really beautiful. And it should be an example. It's an example that I think people should follow because we live in interesting times.

I think you mentioned something about going into say rock or something. And I feel like there's something spir...I feel like you're a spiritual person and also I share a Christian thing too.

Kimmortal

Like what kind of Christian? 'Cause there's so many within.

G

I was raised in a cult called the Iglesia ni Cristo. So they're like Mormons. That's the easiest way to describe them, or like Jehovah's Witness or something. It's really similar.

Steph Gancayco

But it's really big in the Philippines, right?

Kimmortal

Yeah, it is.

G

They're like the number one Christian denomination in Asia. They also do swing voting. And when there was a lot of stuff with Duterte, it was discovered that the church was giving him a lot of money. And every time someone's running for president, they go to the church to ask for their favor. And all these things came out. And I think they had to do a lot to do with Maria, the girl who ran Rappler.

Kimmortal

Ressa, yeah.

G

Yeah. I think they had a game to play in what happened with her, because Rappler was really doing a lot of investigative journalism against the church. But anyway, one thing that came out of my experience with that was music. It was really traumatizing, very anti-black and anti-gay. but I think even though I'm not religious in that sense, I think I am deeply spiritual.

But I know that you just released a bunch of stuff and you're about to be working on some new stuff and I'm just wondering, I don't know, I'm really interested in your creative process and like your obsession. I just want to like know more about it.

Kimmortal

So I went to a Pentecostal church and my church was so like, left of center because there was like a skate park in the back. Like there was a rock band, like they had a whole audio visual team. They had a fucking podcast before podcasts were out, it was like a cult in that way. Like everyone up there on the stage was actually related. It was so fucked and the church is now called Relate church in Surrey. So like what? Right? Like I had crushes on skater boys,

G

Ha ha

Kimmortal

This was the time of like Avril Lavigne, Evanescence, Ashlee Simpson. I'm also a sibling of an older sister. She was Jessica. I was Ashlee. I was Mary Kate. She was Ashley. No, no, I was Ashlee. She was Jessica. So like whiteness, white culture, rock, like that kind of era. And my praise music, the praise and worship music I grew up with was very much like Hillsong United, which is a cult in and of itself.

And rock, Christian rock right? Like I grew up on that and actually my entry into hearing rap was like Tupac and also Da' T.R.U.T.H. who's this Southern Christian rapper but it was called secular music. Growing up, hip hop in the school I went to was considered like the devil's music, Like anti-Black as fuck. like missionaries all around, you know, like mission trips. The first time I left Canada was to Guatemala to a missions trip. I was fifteen.

And I felt so at home because I was like, my god, all these brown people. What the fuck? Like everyone is relating to me in a way that I've never been related to before.

Anyways, very interesting and complex and traumatizing. And also there is a root of like, the spirit moves in interesting ways, which I really connect to. I know it's very colonized, but there is this spirituality that I've kept and that I understand for Filipinos, like our animism, our pre-colonial spirituality will seep through the filter and the gate of whatever it is that is used as a tool against us. So I feel like, no, I've definitely come to terms and peace with that colonized Christian upbringing.

But who's to say that it doesn't influence what I like now? And musically, the direction I'm going into? Cause I'm not just a rapper or I'm not just influenced by hip hop. Like my favorite band is Incubus and Our Lady of Peace. I'd love to have it come through in my music, but over the years when I've performed with live bands, I'm like, can we play this song a different way? Can we make it more ragey punk rock? Like, can I just scream? Can I just let it out? Like I don't wanna perform cool. I've never wanted to perform cool. And when I have, I've been like, this is boring, let's change it up. So I'm moving in that direction, but I'm also getting older and I need to take care of my voice. So I'm not trying to be all screamo and shit, but 

maybe bits and pieces. Or maybe I'll hire a friend to scream on a track or something. But yeah, that's kind of that journey.

Steph Gancayco

That's so cool. I know one of my favorite bands growing up that kind of radicalized me as a young teen was Bikini Kill. And a lot of the music coming out of like Olympia, Washington, like that scene, like Sleater-Kinney, super angry lesbian or queer rock, was my shit growing up.

Kimmortal

Riot grrrl.

Steph Gancayco

Right, riot grrrl, exactly.

Well, just noting as an observer of your work, I feel that you're really channeling spirit when you perform. I've seen you live and it just felt very connected and then like all of your videos and stuff. It's like even if you are kind of perf like, yeah, I don't know. It just feels like you're channeling something important.

Kimmortal

Thank you. That's so...I really need to hear that.

It's hard to actually understand or keep that understanding of performance in a channeling spirit place because that's not how it's understood in this system. You don't always get a stage. You know what I mean? Like, you don't always get to perform. So there's this really dope duo coming out of Vancouver, and they're influenced by ragatak and budots and performance as ritual and ceremony. So their shows are very much not audience or observer and performer. I'm interested in the way they use performance as ritual and ceremony

Steph Gancayco

Who is that? Are you able to say?

Kimmortal

Yeah, I didn't even say! Gulod Tanawin.

Steph Gancayco

It's a duo, right? I feel like I follow them. I've heard of them. Have you worked with them before? 

Kimmortal

Yeah, I'm working with them. we have a remix of This Dike coming out next year and their version is ragatak and it's so good. They're so good, they're also so sweet and like costumes and shit.

G

Okay, so we we all know what budots is, but for those who don't know what ragatak is, can you explain?

Kimmortal

Yeah, let me just Google that right now.

Steph Gancayco

Ha ha ha

Kimmortal

Ragatak is a popular genre and style of heavy bass DJ remix and sound system battle music heavily viral in the Philippines. How absolutely vague.

G

Ahat?

Kimmortal

That's so vague. Like where? Like what's the context? But my friend, who's half of the duo was saying that the first time they witnessed ragatak was like in this village, rural area outside of Manila. Like way outside. And they were just passing through and there was a basketball court and huge sound systems. And they played Ragatak and it wasn't like woooo you know, it wasn't like, whoa, you know, like I don't know how to explain. Like romanticized or whatever. It was just embedded in the community. Just that story that my friend told me about how they saw it in the Philippines was very...I have to give you the definition. But they said that there's no Wikipedia on it. There's very little research on it. But it's definitely Filipino.

Steph Gancayco

I feel like it's kinda like budots a few years ago where there wasn't really...like it's so regional or it's very much everyday part of life for people, and having gatherings together out there, but there wasn't really a lot of context for people outside of the Philippines.

Kimmortal

Yeah, totally. And honestly, as it should be. You know what I mean? I'm also aware of that too. Like I'm gonna release a budots track, but I really wanna respect it. 'Cause it's like when I first talked to someone who's from the Philippines that, I told them budots and they're like, oh my god, budots is so sacred. And I was like, Whoa, okay, versus like, understandings of Southeast Asian music as cheap and tacky. So I'm just learning more about it actually. There's a really good article about it that the manager of DJ Love wrote and it's exquisite. It's incredible. I gotta read it a couple times. I'll send it to you guys. It's so good. I think you'll like it. It's wonderfully written. And it gives so much respect to our forms of music and that's the kind of respect I wanna give this budots track. And the fact that I even worked with DJ Love is such an honor. So I wanna just uplift as much as I possibly can.

Steph Gancayco

Word. That's crazy. How did the collaboration come about? I know you you're gonna be releasing it, maybe next year, something, right?

Kimmortal

So I've always wanted to release a remix EP of This Dyke and I was like, I'm gonna hit up producers I wanna work with and then I just was like, I'm gonna hit up DJ Love and let's see what happens.

So I sent him a video message on Instagram. And I was in the prairies of Canada in Banff, Alberta, in the middle of winter. And so it was snowing like crazy behind me. And I sent him a video. I was like, hi DJ Love, ako po si Kimmortal, I was like, hi Kuya. I was like I was I would love to work with you. if this is possible, it would be amazing. We love you here in Canada, Filipinos in Canada. And then he responded back! And he was like, I'm pretty sure he said "Hello mamsir" like I swear. I am pretty sure he's like he's like kumusta mamsir or whatever.

Steph Gancayco

Nice, nice, nice.

Steph Gancayco

Kimmortal

and then yeah. And then we have a track. And that was back in last November.

G

what was the music collaboration production process like?

Kimmortal

So the production process was like, hey, I would love if you remix this track. So I sent him the stem the stems and then he sent me, I think, two versions, and then I gave my input and we changed the bassline and then I was like, maybe you can work with this vocal stem, like chop it up more. Like you don't have to stay true to the form of the track. Cause at first it was like, okay, it's exactly the track, but just budots. But I was like, maybe you can just play with the repetition more and it doesn't have to be linear kind of thing. And I really like the final version. Yeah.

Steph Gancayco

my god, I'm so excited.

Kimmortal

It's such a good track to just dance to. Like I feel like it ends too soon.

G

Well, you know, I love a track with a radio version, a club mix. The extended version. It's great for DJs. We love an extended 'cause then it's easier to mix.

Kimmortal

Okay, okay, cool, good to know.

Steph Gancayco

So you're releasing an album with multiple remixes by different producers of your track, This Dyke. So for this version, what do you hope that Filipinos who hear it will maybe catch that a non-Filipino listener might not catch or like, people have no context about this very distinctly Filipino musical beat.

Kimmortal

I like that it's Filipino. And like it's Filipino. Like this is coming out of the Philippines.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah. For sure.

Kimmortal

And isn't it amazing? You know, like I don't know, and like it's for us, you know. And it's also, like it comes from somewhere and there's a whole history to it and we can deep dive on one of our forms. Whoa, you know.

G

That's sickening.

Steph Gancayco

I went to a party that Barrio Bounce. They it they do it out here in the Bay, but I went to one in New York like a couple of months ago. And it was dope just to see people in the club--some of them were Filipino, but most of them weren't. It was just a cool ass like hipster ravey event. And it was like, this is what I've always dreamed of, you know, where it's like very specifically Filipino music or art or whatever it is, but it's enjoyed by everyone. Like it's for everyone. You know what I mean? They could get the context or they don't necessarily need to or if they want to look into it they can, but it was mostly just people were just dancing and it was just hella fun, you know, and it  was sick.

Like I was like, okay, cool. It's definitely very clear what the music is and where it comes from and it's a Southeast Asian dance party or whatever. But I thought that was sick. And I feel like that's a direction that I hope we keep moving towards in culture and art in general.

Kimmortal

And like, it's a dance. Like budots comes from dance. I watched this documentary where DJ Love explains the movement. So there's like this movement, and then there's like...anyways, some of it was like the the mission behind budots was for the community to participate in what is positive, which is dance and music. And so it was like no to drugs, no to violence. And so the movements are like that. They're actual movements like that.

He explains it in this doc. I thought that was interesting. But like even the sounds, like it's the sounds of the jeepney, you know, or it's like the sounds of the streets there. So it's a reflection of that. And it's also like when I hear it, I wanna laugh and I wanna be joyful and dance.

Steph Gancayco

Word. Yeah, it's so uplifting for sure.

G

I think it's also really interesting too because I learned that the Filipino market is really big right now because there's a diaspora everywhere, right? But also the Filipino community is fiercely loyal and really loud online when anything Filipino happens. So I think Yeah.

Kimmortal

Uy, Pilipins!

Steph Gancayco

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

G

So I'm just excited for you in general, but also with the new light that we have. I don't know, it could be interesting, right? But I wanted to ask because you've been traveling a lot and also it's no secret that you have a political point of view and that you believe in things that you believe in. I was wondering if or what the response has been for people who were Filipino or not Filipino or what it's been like outside of the country.

I was just curious about what the response has been like for an artist who is really authentic and also not scared to be authentic.

Kimmortal

For example, my track Stop Business As Usual, when I've performed it in Berlin, like people sing along with me. If anything, that song is like a tester to see who I will continue to do the show with enthusiasm, you know?

Like it's a good litmus test to the vibe. Who's with it and like

Steph Gancayco

Like who's with the shits or

Kimmortal

you know, doesn't matter where you're from. Like in Germany, in Spain that I've performed it, people sing along with me, I find that people take their cameras out and start filming me. That's the song where people film me. Because like for people that don't have a platform or something or aren't the type to speak out, but they fuck with the stop the genocide. They're anti-colonial, right? They will film it and they'll post it and for them that means something to them. You know what I mean? Like for them, that's their expression of their beliefs is to repost that video of all the songs I've done in my set. They'll repost that and I'm like, okay, so it shows what they believe and so that's been cool to support, and to keep that going.

And then there's where people,,,I've had like, I can only count on one hand bad experiences. Where people have come up to me after a show or during the show, like cuss me out. Like this one lady went from the back of the room to the front and started cussing my whole band out and was like, there's no genocide. That was a story in and of itself. But the people that surrounded her held their keffiyehs up and pushed her out, like talking her down. That was such a beautiful act of community. And these were like anti-Zionist, queer Jew community that came to see my show. They went right up to her and moved her out.

Or like, I have the horror stories of like, Zionists in the crowd that are in the art scene. That are like, you don't want to know where I'm from. You know, like that. But then those I can count that on my hand. To actually experience progressive communities all around the world is really affirming 'cause it's like, nope, we're out here, you know, and you guys are fighting your own fight here in Germany, you're fighting your own fight here in Spain, and meeting progressive Filipinos, queer trans Filipinos in different countries.

Like they really appreciate me. They're like, You're a shooting star, I had to come see you. Cause we don't have this. Like Filipino American, Filipino Canadian musicians that are progressive, it's very rare in other countries. And I hope for more of the traveling to happen. Cause I feel like there's so much of it in the States and there's so much of it here. And I just hope for more cross-cultural, cross-border traveling because also as an artist I've grown just from having experiences and seeing how my music hits in a different place is also a really great experience to go through. 

Steph Gancayco

You mentioned in a recent interview that you connected with a Barcelona-based Filipino org called Espai Kapwa.

Kimmortal

Yeah, yeah, they're so amazing.

Steph Gancayco

How was meeting comrades, essentially, while being in Spain? And also shooting your video. I know that you released a single recently with Kuni Tomita, Asian Boss Bitch. It was so cool to see your work with a Japanese Spanish artist. And then also doing it in a place of one of our longest colonizers. What was that like?

G

Yeah, I need to hear that.

Kimmortal

Yeah, for sure. Well Madrid and Barcelona is beautiful. It's gorgeous.

So I learned about Espai Kapwa through Rocky Rivera actually because I was like, shit, Rocky Rivera's in Barcelona? Who's organizing the show? And then I learned of Espai Kapwa. I think she performed there in 2025. And Espai Kapwa is a small progressive Filipino org. It's run by a couple. They have a daughter and they live right in the heart of the city in Barcelona. And we started organizing online this show and they're so humble, sweet, and they kept telling me when Filipino American or Filipino Canadian musicians come around, it's a shooting star. We have to do a show. And then they organized from the ground up like, small little venue. They did an eskrima workshop before I performed. There's a guro that lives in Barcelona. And he taught the crowd how to use your everyday materials to defend yourself. So he used a hat. He's like, you don't need a stick, you can use your hat. And then there was these amazing drag musicians that did a whole theater skit about domestic workers in Spain.

And I was like, damn. And I don't know, just like meeting Spanish-speaking Filipinos was a trip. Like I was like, whoa, like, whoa. One of them also raps in Catalan. Catalon? Yeah. Like Catalan, Tagalog, Bisaya, English. I was like, wow. But yeah, they're just saying in Spain, they're such a small progressive community and they're completely outnumbered by conservative Filipinos that are down with the Spanish.

Steph Gancayco

Like they improved our cultures and our country or something like that?

Kimmortal

Yeah. Very, very settled. And I was like, whoa, what a different experience.

Steph Gancayco

Interesting.

G

That's so interesting.

Kimmortal

It was really interesting. But yeah, Kuni Tomita is just so amazing, like such an icon and such a star. He's an actor. He had a huge team because he's so in the film industry. And there was a huge team that came to make the film, that was absolutely epic.

And he wanted to honor Filipino history and like how the Spanish fucked us up. So he wrote the whole scene, the one that I'm in, and he honored my lyrics. He did research on the Katipunan and he was like, I had no idea. Holy shit, you know.

G

Wow. Wait, is this a Spanish person?

Steph Gancayco

I just got chills.

Kimmortal

Half Japanese, half Spanish. From Madrid. Queer.

G

That's really cool.

Steph Gancayco

the video was very cinematic and very sick for sure.

Kimmortal

But yeah, have you heard of Filipinos, the chocolate?

G

No.

Kimmortal

Okay, so before I flew to Spain, one of my friends was like, you gotta get Filipinos. And I was like, What are you talking about? He's like, It's this chocolate bar. And it's originated, I think, in Portugal, and in Spain. And I was like, You're fucking joking me. And if you look it up, it's literally called Filipinos and it comes in dark, white and milk or something. And I was talking about it on the first day I flew in, I said, Kuni, there's this chocolate called Filipinos, and he's like yeah, amazing. And then I was getting my makeup done and then I was like, Have you heard of this Filipinos chocolate bar? Everyone, all the makeup artists, all of them Spanish, were like so good, grew up with it, part of my childhood.

Steph Gancayco

Crazy. Okay.

Kimmortal

And then Kuni comes through the and is like, Here you go, Kim, and I was handed the Filipinos chocolate bar, and I took a bite out of it. Taste test. So good. It's like chocolate wafer. Like a chocolate biscuit. And everyone likes the white one better. Isn't this so wild?

Steph Gancayco

I was gonna say, this is like kinda deep.

Kimmortal

I was like, okay, yeah, they're eating freaking Filipinos, you know? And I'm like, isn't this weird? And no one really focused on that. So I was like, okay, cultural. I have a video of me like eating it and I'm like, maybe I'll release this and be like, This is my time in Spain.

Steph Gancayco

That's crazy.

So I think we're gonna try to kinda wrap up. We have a bunch of...I don't know, Gueriilla, if you wanna ask a couple of questions about the more industry stuff. And then we have s a bunch of little rapid fire questions at the end.

G

Yes. I am really interested in your journey as an artist because I come from DIY culture and a do-it-yourself or grassroots organizing, figuring it out. Like I never went to school, I'm bad at school, so I taught everything to myself and crowdfunded for a camera or a laptop. So I'm saying that to say, doing things without resources...

Kimmortal

You're the true artist. Just saying. That's a true artist right there.

G

We all are, we all are. But I'm saying that to say without access to resources, if you have the will, you have the way and there's a like, ingenuity, creativity or whatever. But I wanted to ask you about your experience, like say you're gonna release a single, and then there's a whole marketing plan rollout that you have to have for it. But traditionally, there's a team or a label or manager that does that. But now the artist has to make the music, produce the music, mix and master, then do the content strategy and the creation and the posting. So the stakes have become a lot more higher, I guess, or challenging.

And I was just curious about what are some things that you would need or want to have it the way you want?

Kimmortal

I think in the end of the day when an artist knows where they wanna go, I think that's the key. Like when they are staying true to their fans, their community, where they want to make art, quality art. And that's their main goal is to connect and return, continue to return back to community and friends, because I feel like you can be pulled away from community and friends. In this you can get lost and it's like a constant remembrance to go back to where it, where like you know your community friends will tell you, yeah, like yeah, that's not good or whatever, like yeah, that doesn't s speak to me. Or there's this resonance that only your community can know. And like what we were talking about, the subculture, which is directly behind the PR filter, like that PR filter is funding, connections, management team.

I feel like I'm in a place in my life right now where I would love to just return to my DIY ethic because I love DIY. Like, I love DIY. And also with the changing of social media, we have access to our people. Like talking directly to a camera. Like that's you. That's all you. You know?

It's not about being polished. It's not about that anymore.

Steph Gancayco

I think people w want that so badly, is to see the real person behind the work, in any field, you know?

Kimmortal

Yeah, like I wanna know you touch the art that you're giving to me, like whatever it is where you can just be hands-on with your work and put...like I hope it's your truth and your soul. And it's not being invaded by so many voices, outside voices.

G

I think it's also what you're saying is like the vulnerability to express or say things that aren't perfect, because there's this pressure to be perfect or it's never gonna happen, which is not a good thing. But then it's like, people wanna see it not be perfect. They wanna experience authenticity, right? And you have support in your community, right? But can you speak on that more?

Kimmortal

Well, I definitely like to--in terms of timing and rollout of a track--I'm like, okay, what if I need to talk to multiple people to be like, does it make sense to release it before Pride? Or like in the first quarter, or in the winter? Does this feel like I have to talk to and they're not even a part of my quote team. Like sometimes it's friends or it's other artists that I'm gonna be working with in the future. I need to talk to my friends to fact check time. Also when it comes to film stuff, I work with one filmmaker.

I like bouncing and vibing my ideas off people. I have an agent who's only within the Canadian territory. and I'm trying to get out of Canada more.

G

Tell them to bring you here, hello.

Kimmortal

Yeah, you know what really sucks is that the the visa is so expensive for me as a performer. Like I haven't performed in the States for a year because of the visa. Because the visa is around $5k just for Canadians to perform in the States. Yeah.

G

What? That's so crazy.

Steph Gancayco

What? Wow

Kimmortal

And it's rising. And then if you're political, then there's also shit like that, right? Like it's more precarious. So yeah, if y'all know anyone who wants to hire me and write me down or something, that will help me for an application process. But the reality is Canada's population is less than, if not equal to, California's population. Like all of Canada compared to California. So in terms of trying to connect to more people, the States is where it's at to perform.

But then it's such precarious times. People are like, why the fuck would you want to go to the States? So many Canadian musicians are like, I'm not going there. I don't want to contribute at all to that economy. Like fuck the US. And I'm like, yes, but my communities are like...I love performing in the States. So my goal is to keep leaving and traveling, and expanding and growing outside and to go to the Philippines next year. Like spend two months and create music there and and put my money into the Philippine artistic economy and collaborate there and learn Tagalog more.

G

I'm here for it. I'm here for all of it.

Steph Gancayco

That's definitely a huge part of the Hella Pinay thing is that I want to be doing more bridging work in terms of bringing artists there and bringing artists from the Philippines out here. mm-hmm. I think it's super important for us to experience each other's lives, you know?

Kimmortal

That part. Yes.

Steph Gancayco

So I guess to close, we just had a a bunch of quick questions that maybe aren't really related to music, but yeah. What's making you laugh lately?

Kimmortal

I just think it's funny when like everyone is down for something, but then there's that one person that like isn't down for something. And they're like, I don't like this. I think that's just funny. I don't know.

Yeah. And kids make me laugh.

G

That's a good sign that you like kids. That's a really good sign actually.

Steph Gancayco

What's something you wish you could tell twenty-year-old Kimmortal?

Kimmortal

Just like, why are you so hard on yourself? Just don't be so hard on yourself, little baby.

G

What's something currently making you feel like, holy shit, I'm really alive?

Kimmortal

I think it's because I don't smoke weed a lot, but when I smoke weed and I'm having a conversation with someone, I'm like, my god, I'm talking to someone.

Steph Gancayco

The same.

Kimmortal

Like, my god like, they're like hearing me and like I'm telling them my perspective. What the fuck?

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, it's like it gets you all like Yeah. Relatable. my God.

Word. what makes someone iconic to you?

Kimmortal

I think like if someone has a look, like if they have a look that's part of icons. So there's the physical and then iconic is like, what makes someone iconic is it if they're really stubbornly true to their perspective and unapologetic to themselves. To themselves. Not to be like, I'm unapologetic. They don't have to be like out there, but like they're really true to what resonates with them?

And also a little bit of like okay, 'cause like sometimes I think of my god, that's so iconic. And usually it's like someone just like took out something and they did like an extravagant like boom, boom, that's iconic. But then there's the iconics where  they just like shrink away in the corner. Like that's sometimes iconic. Or they're like, they have nothing to say because they don't wanna contribute because it's not moving them or something. Like I think that's iconic too.

Steph Gancayco

Definitely.

G

Sorry, Scorpio mind tricks right there.

Steph Gancayco

Yeah, totally. Yeah, I'm like I'm like, I'm good. Yeah. Yeah, like I'm just gonna...

G

Can you name some Pinay or Filipino icons in your life?

Kimmortal

Yeah. I really love Tin Lorica, who's my partner and a comedian and a poet. They're very iconic to me. Their poetry is incredible. It makes you cry, laugh and get mad. And they really inspire me. I love their takes on anything Filipinx, anything queer, trans. Like I go to them and they'll say it in one little sentence. And I'm like, wow. For me, I really droll on. so they're a huge icon to me. You mentioned Maria Ressa. Just how she was censored when she spoke out about Duterte. And she's so fucking smart and well read. And journalists, period, are just incredible. Especially in the state of things right now. Journalists are incredible. And I think my ink friends, my friends who have done my ink. They're so not in the spotlight and they're just so dope. Like they're grief holders and healers and they have hot takes and they're hilarious and just like...baddies. Just like gay and trans as fuck.

And you guys, you guys are so amazing!

Steph Gancayco

Oh my god, we're like huge fans, humongous fans. Honestly.

G

Huge, huge.

Steph Gancayco

Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. No.

Kimmortal

Whoa, wow. You guys are doing incredible...I don't know anyone who's doing what you're doing. And I'm really grateful for your intention and energy. And you guys have such, what's that word? Good taste.

Steph Gancayco

Thank you.

G

Aww.

Kimmortal

Such good taste. And I love you, you know, there's the PR filter. There's like...the Hella Pinay filter and it's such great work that you're putting out there, like quality art, you know? And in this in this world where it's like you gotta be seen, you gotta like you gotta...yeah. Like you have great work. I'm really grateful for you guys. So Yeah.

Steph Gancayco

Thank you. my God. Thanks for being on this journey with us literally this entire time. We've been featuring you since like the beginning, you know, because it's just super aligned, you know, I think.

G
Literally.

Kimmortal
Yeah. Thank you for doing that. Hell yeah.

Steph Gancayco

thank you. I guess to end, you have a single that came out recently called Asian Boss Bitch. It's with Kuni Tomita. That just came out. and then upcoming projects in the new year, in 2027.

So I guess you could drop your where can people find you on internet.

Kimmortal

Cool. I'm on the internet at @kimmortaltheartist, all one word. And I'm on Kimmortalportal.com. And I'm on Bandcamp. Support artists on Bandcamp. I love it. And then my email. If anyone wants to book me out there, I'm looking for work. kimmortaltheartist@gmail.com.

Steph Gancayco

They're so amazing live. Like you have to see them. It's mind blowing. The thought that goes into the artistry, the lighting, the costumes, the band. Period. 

G

And look at their music videos too. Amazing. So good.

Kimmortal

Thank you. my god, thank you.

Steph Gancayco

Thanks so much for talking with us.

G

Thank you.

Kimmortal

Thank you guys. Thank you. I'm looking forward to listening to all the future episodes.

Steph Gancayco

Absolutely. So we're on IG at @hella_pinay. And then you can watch all the past episodes of the show, and then this one coming up on hellapinay.com/icons. So we'll see you guys soon. Thank you so much. Love you. Bye.